I've become a slave to life so sorry for no posts in a freaking long time.
I've been in idea development mode but was thinking today. What is one thing I'd love to do and get paid handsomely for it? Probably sitting around listening to music and wiggling to jams.
And now my favorite photos snapped throughout the year.
While I do have somewhat of a relaxer week its finally hit me over the last week or two the state of my life. The holidays seem to bring the reflection time front and center. With the INSANITY of the last couple of days gone its back to my main objective for the end of the year. Rediscover me while finding or projecting myself into 2008. Where will I go in 2008? Who will I be in 2008? How will I navigate 2008?
All deep questions to ask yourself to get on track for 2008. Not something you can figure out in a day or on NYE when you're keg standing a pony. booYa :)
Its been a long time since I've been excited about a new year, but 2008 I'm ready.
I've started my reflection period with a work assignment for dual benefit (work/ life). Focusing on exactly what are my strengths I've been going through Strength Finders 2.0. What was so great about taking this test is it confirmed everything I hold true of myself and as many of you slaws know me it's pretty accurate. I clipped the categories IDEATION, BELIEF, FUTURISTIC, STRATEGIC, and CONNECTEDNESS. Literally, amazing how a simple 50 or so questions can truly predict you. I always get a bit flakey doing these sorts of test for simply am I thinking through this, am I really being honest with myself, etc., etc., etc.
The next perspective is to pull out my life plan I made two years ago. It definitely needs some work and updating. I want to see if my core values/ beliefs are still intact and hopefully might have gained a few along the way. Completing this will be a review of my 5 year goals, which is so hard to do. Some days I can barely think about the next 20 minutes how in the world can I think about 10, 15, or even 20 years from now. The complexity of life amazes me so much I wonder sometimes is this even worth it. But it is just and only just an outline. Life brings so many detours our ways. If anything regardless my core beliefs/ values are there so I'm prepared to adapt to any change.
The final piece will be to straw-man these goals into yearly actionable items. What books do I need to read, who can I align to or learn from, how can I contribute to the greater good, and do I feel comfortable?
So that's my deep perspective for the day. Enjoy. Reflect. It's your life to screw up or find joy/ happiness.
So today kicks off the series of top 10 lists for the year. Today's is about experiences. This year has been so crazy for me, so crazy I'm barely capturing all the things out there. These are personal experiences that I've had throughout the year and in no particular order.
Still to come books, pictures, music, and movies
So I've done it. Marathon #2 completed. This might have been the worst pain I've ever felt. I'll clue you. I've had a long term issue with my left hamstring. Its just not built like my right one and I can't seem to get it to stretch out. So because of it there is just so much I can get out of it before it tightens and fails me.
This is what happened 3 years ago. I was in probably one of the best running shapes I've ever been in. From my training runs it was obvious I was going make that marathon my beotch. Mile 16 came and bam. Locked up on me. I hobbed and gobbed the rest of the way.
The last couple of months I've been prepping it from a flexibility perspective. I'm in descent short running shape but haven't really done alot of long runs as in previous years but wasn't a major concern. So saturday became my attempt for 3 hours again. Leading up to this I've danced on the injury fence big time. 3 weeks ago my left knee starting giving me fits followed by the hamstring again. Then to top it all off my right foot that I injured last year before the marathon started acting up. It was one of those clarity moments saturday morning when you wake up and say to yourself I really should probably not run today because I'm just not sure my body will hold.
But what the hell do I care because I never back down from a challenge. Bring it. I am the Alpha Dog....or so I thought.
The first 10 miles were great. I was actually surprised how well I was running. Trying to pace myself and not let the fast half-marathoners get into my head about how much faster they were running than me. It was great to see so many old friends along the way, it became a big lift towards the second half of the run. By the time 14 miles came I started feeling my leg crash. Little by little the hamstring was going. To illustrate the pain insert a needle into the back of leg right above the knee bend. Yeah feels AWESOME!!!!!! So your stride shortens drastically. Wait....you want more. Lets get the knee to flair up again. To illustrate that pain, lets have someone take a butter knife and try to cut you. Hmm, warms your bones doesn't it.
Okay so we've got the pain down. Now lets run another 10 miles. Hoo ray!!!! Wow, wow, wow. That was probably the worst thing I've ever experienced. So hobbling through the rest of the race it was absolutely amazing to come around the corner and hear ole Jay Lee announcing your name as a finisher. I do have to be thrilled I completed the marathon in the same time I did 3 years ago: 3:13.
So now I smell of biofreeze, trying to overdose on Ibuprofen, and trying to focus on finals this week. Dreaming of one day being injury free and doing a sub 3 hr marathon. Until then you win Mr. Marathon.
Today I'm going to ________________________.
OMG how i've refallen back in love with cycling. Its been sort of tough to get motivated a bit after marathon training all week then to turn and do 7ish hours on the bike over the weekend. But I freaking love it. Gosh its been so long since I've felt like this. I seriously thought two years ago I would never ride a bike again, but thanks to my slawz I've slowly reconnect to my love.
Typically, this time of year I start dreading being on the bike when it starts getting cold in the mornings or late afternoons. I do freeze and complain for 5 minutes then I adjust. My biggest challenge has been to keep my jets on medium. Our saturday team rides have been tame thank goodness because I'm coming off my long run of the week the previous day. So by the time sunday comes around I need to get my wiggle out. And let me tell you its sucks to suffer, but I sort of like it. Its a cycling sickness some people get. I love the fact I'm hurting myself so much but at the same time getting better.
Today I was so bored riding, I wanted a steady pace but wasn't getting it. Some of the rides around here draw slaws from all abilities. Mostly this time of year you never know what comes out. I tried to behave a great bit but found myself in my previous cycling state of mind....if its too slow, time to fuck it up. I found myself off the front multiple times without any strong, painful efforts. I love that feeling even if it was a bunch of slaws. But my endurance of long sustaining efforts isn't there yet especially when there is a wind in your face the whole freaking time.
One of the greatest things about cycling and bike racing for that matter is the intelligence factor. I use to be such a meat head about riding. I'd go to the front and pull like a fucking work horse, string it out then find myself exhausted and finishing midpack with no energy to challenge for first place. I hated that feeling of stupidity. Especially, when my bro's would make me aware of it.
So i'm putting a tremendous effort even on group rides to think more intelligently about what's happening. Looking for cues when doods are suffering, how people typically fall apart, and deciding when is the best move. I hope it helps me a great deal as I return to racing.
This is quite funny but a good move. so dorky, of course, as retarded as I am I probably would have done the same thing. Read about Patrick Moberg finding the girl of his dreams.
As I collect my thoughts of previous research i've explored in the area of urban megacities, by all accounts this website is pretty accurate. Its a short flash explanation of the next twenty years and the explosion of megacities around the globe.
http://www.192021.org/
Reflections and Tootsie Roll Lollipops.....
You know there are times when we need to stop and reflect on the past. My chaos of late, I can barely remember last week so that is why I'm stopping and thinking about it this morning. Of late my mind has been all over the place. I read the title of a research paper the other day: "To Inform or To Persuade?" That really stuck in my head for some reason. It seems my life is so much about persuasion these days. Whether that's my job, a relationship, school, a commitment, God, etc. It seems I'm constantly pleading my case for everything these days to the point I'm literally exhausted. I don't know why. How did I get so deep in my head?
But why? It seems my faith has been so challenged of late. I can't seem to truly let go of everything so I'm stuck in persausion mode for my life. I've debated with a few friends of late on the true road we are all on. Do we truly have control of our own ships? Driving myself crazy with reflection I can't decide. On one hand I like to think God has given each of us the skills and abilities to drive the best "free will" path possible. But then again, maybe this all some sort of illusion we've created and He is truly the puppet master and we are all being played like a violin.
Regardless, I'm frustrated as of late, persuading....
A good friend of mine - Jeremy Huggins, a person I've respected and admired since we were younglings, wrote an interesting article the other day reflecting on the goodness of free minded music and especially a group he and I both share of common interest, Page France. Even though they have broken up their music is honest and open-minded about the path of life and God. Why I bring this into the picture is because I saw open glimmer of hope in my thoughts as I went through his article. I take myself so seriously and because of that I believe I'm constantly persuading not informing.
Does that make sense? I hope so. Just like the good music out there that fills our minds and creates experiences of considerdation, deeper there is to life and the deep end of the pool that we can maybe swim across.
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